"Bad guy", Bully, and Beans

During breakfast, Max wanted me to measure him but decided we didn't need to since he's exactly the length of the bench.  However, he wasn't exactly matched up with it when I took the pic.

My kids were in rare form today.  I just don't know where they come up with the things that they say or the things that pop up into their imagination.  Nico cracked me up today when he looked at me long and hard.  He was staring at my earrings.  He tells me, "Those earrings are NOT pretty."  Me, "Oh you don't like them?" Nico, "No, I don't."  Well okay then.  I guess I know which kid I'll be embarrassing first when it comes to looking cool in front of his friends.  I just can't imagine at this point how it will be when the kids get older if at 2 I've got one already saying these things.  But actually I'm not really surprised.  My oldest (who will be turning 5 in less than a month!) was telling me today that I was being "very rude".  All because I told him that I needed to take a break from playing to cook his dinner.   Apparently he thinks I should be called, instead of Superman (who I was supposed to be pretending to me at the time) "SuperRude".  I told him I'd work on my yellow "SuperRude" cape and put a big red "R" on the back since rude begins with the letter R.  Yea, I sure did make it into an opportunity to teach the letter R.  He proceeds to tell me that I don't need to cook his dinner because he's a superhero and superheros don't eat.  Me, "Then where do they get the energy to do all the superheroing that they do?"  He couldn't answer that one.  When I asked him to take a potty break, "Superheros don't go to the bathroom!"  After a long discussion Max just decided that I shouldn't even be a superhero.  I should be the "really bad guy" because I, and I quote, "NEVER play" with him and I "NEVER let" him "do anything".  Oh and I "NEVER buy toys" for him or "NEVER do anything" for him.  I thought I was living with a (close to) 5 year old, not a 15 year old.  Boy am I in trouble. 

Which brings me to another interesting reflection.  I was talking to a friend at church today while the kids were in religion class.  She has two sons like me only they are a little older.  One son is 20.  She was sharing with me what it was like having her two boys and some of the things they deal with now.  I swear it was me telling the story.  I could have replaced her 20 year old son with my 5 year old.  Kids never change?  I mean, I was one once, but of course I was NEVER EVER like that, right?  Nah, truthfully, I remember a lot about my immaturities as a little kid, as a teen, and now I'm aware of my immaturity as a young adult.  Well I don't want to grow up too much now do I?  Anyway, I guess the way a young man talks to his parents and the way a young boy talks to his parents is actually just how a guy talks to his parents regardless of age.  So with that said, I'm just bracing myself for it.  I'm glad I'm documenting this so that I can have a refresher course on how I deal with things now so that I can use any of the helpful techniques in the future.  I wonder if since a 20 year old and a 5 year old disagree the same way, can the same parenting techniques actually work?  When my son is 20 and thinks he knows everything, just as my 5 year old thinks he knows everything, and he's yelling at me that I NEVER let him (fill in the blank) and he's more screaming than actually talking, will it work to just say to him in as calm a voice as I possibly can to use his "indoor voice" or to "use his words" to explain to me his feelings and we can talk it out.  Hmmmm....

I think that Max just had some troubles today that causes him to act out.  That's another thing I need to remember.  Just as I did as a kid/teen/and even now, when circumstances or events of the day cause me to feel uneasy or stressed, the one that will get the full force of my blow will be the ones I love the most.  I DEFINITELY felt Max's punch today.  He's been having nightmares several nights now about toys being real and coming to life.  At first I'm thinking, well okay maybe he enjoys conversing with his toys?  But I don't think these dreams are anything Toy Story like.  We had to have a pretty significant discussion about what is real and what is make believe, and that his toys can absolutely NOT come to life.  The entire day he wouldn't go into his room alone and he was a little sad saying that he didn't want to play with toys anymore.  But when I suggested that he think of things other than toys that he might want for his birthday so that he can get things that do not scare him, he cried because he wanted toys.  Drama drama drama....and my daughter can't even talk yet....The little guy was also super clumsy today.  I'm not exaggerating when I say that he may very well have whined about getting a "booboo" about 12-13 times today.  He refused to take one Bandaid for any of his scratches, but sure did want to let me know it hurt, over and over and over again.  (I guess that sounds like someone I know very well...I'm soooo not good with discomfort.)  But the thing that I think probably hurt him the most today was his first encounter with bullying.  Actually I think it's been happening the last three days which is a complete shame because he's at Religious Ed. and it's a kid there.  He didn't tell me about it the last two days, but he told me he didn't want to go back to religion class anymore because any time they had recess he got pushed around.  I was proud of him because he did exactly what I've taught him to do which is tell the kid to stop and if he doesn't then go tell the teacher.  Only the kid continued after that.  So here I am faced with how to handle the situation.  Max claims that he's not the only kid that's being picked on either.  According to Max his two other buddies are getting it too.  It's one thing for boys to horse play, it's another when they get hurt.  I don't want to judge this little kid doing the pushing around because I'm just hearing the story from one side and I don't know the kid's circumstances.  It's just hard to see my son feeling bad due to another little kid's actions.  This is definitely a part of parenthood that I have not been looking forward to.  At the same time, I'm happy that my son felt comfortable coming to me about it.  I don't want to let him down by not following up to see what's going on. 

On a much lighter note, here's some of the roles I starred in today.  I've been Smurfette, Superman, Batman, Princess Peach, Izzy the Pirate, a monster, "SuperRude", among other things.  The boys had corresponding roles to play.  We played with cars for a LONG time this afternoon.  The boys decided it was time to show Belle how to play with them. She LOVED every second of tummy time beside her bros who played on their tummies too!  Poor girl has very few girly toys in this house.  She doesn't seem to mind though!  For dinner I had several happy campers.  Last night I put some beans to soak overnight.  This afternoon I made some bean soup (or as Nico calls it "Bean Sopa") Fernando is obsessed with bean so he was very pleased.  I've been craving this soup ever since I tasted it at my parent's house when my mom had some for leftovers.  Nico ate a bowl of them, took his bath and brushed his teeth, then asked for more.  When told he would have to wait because it was too late to eat more beans (potentially disastrous this time of night), he exclaimed that he would eat it for breakfast.  Max didn't have any bean sopa (he will only eat kidney beans so I offered those to him), but he did eat his entire plate of food.  I was completely impressed since it is hit or miss with the food intake in this house.  Belle sat with us at the table "reading" to her Papa.  When she saw her Papa come home today she smiled so big and kicked and giggled.  She loves him so much.  She's been a real trooper this week.  I've been putting her in the nursery at the church every day with Nico while Max is in class and I volunteer.  She's not the happiest of babies in there, but she's doing her best.  It is obvious when she gets home that she's missed her familiar space and her familiar faces.  I'm missing all of my morning Belle time!  But it's so nice getting to help out at the church too.

SPOILER ALERT FOR FER....

PLEASE TURN BACK NOW....

DO NOT CONTINUE...

I MEAN IT....

END HERE, PAPA!

Okay, do you think he got the hint.  Now I have to tell about something else we did today. 

The kids and I made birthday cards for Papa!  We had a lot of fun.  The boys picked out their Papa's favorite colors (except Nico picked pink for Belle's card) and we decorated the construction paper with birthday greetings.  Nico is still in his scribbling stage so that's what he did.  He was very specific in what he wanted me to write on the inside.  He wanted me to write "Thank you. I love you" but refused for me to write Happy Birthday in it.  Max did his card all on his own, complete with pictures of exploding presents on the front and the back.  I guess Jokey Smurf likes to give gifts that explode??  And he did the writing all by himself.  I had to write what he wanted to say on a piece of paper first and then he copied it over to the card.  Obviously I did the one from Belle and me.  Then the boys picked out a special hiding spot in the house where we hid the cards until Fer's birthday on Saturday.  I think they enjoy the secrecy of it all more than the actual making of the cards.  Max likes to be sneaky and Nico likes to be surprised.  I love that about them.  Nico got white marker on his forehead while he was coloring.  He thought it was so hilarious!

So that's our day today.  We had some great moments, some happy, some sad, but most of all some learning experiences.  We really tried and made the BEST out of our DAY.  And if the only thing that you get out of this article today is that beans are good...well then that's OK.  That was Fernando's favorite part of the day!  God bless you all!  Until next time...