One of "THOSE" days

Alright.  I want this blog to be about honesty and to paint a realistic picture about our family life.  So...here we go.  If you've ever thought that our lives could not possibly always be full of sunshine and rainbows, today I have complete proof of hail stones and mud puddles (I mean this figuratively AND literally) to demonstrate just this.  Fortunately, this is NOT a typical day for us, but perhaps for some of you it will be helpful for me to share.  I'm not going to go into complete detail about all of the minor things that continuously stacked up on each other to make this a frustrating day.  That's really not the point.  What I want to point out today is that no one's perfect.  No matter what a situation looks like from the outside (whether good or bad), there are always the unseen.  Come join me as I make a confession about what "one of THOSE days" can be like in our home. 

Day 3, 4, 5 (who really knows how many) of getting very very VERY little sleep can really play its toll.  Yes, I am fully aware that I'm writing this while my children are asleep upstairs and I could possibly be in bed myself.  However, this is definitely a form of reflection and therapy for me, therefore, here I am.

First of all, I need to mention that I think I've got myself a teething baby...who not only whines all night long (poor girl), but gnaws on her fingers and squeals at a high pitch frequency creating a struggle for everyone to get a good night sleep.  Max "sleeps" through it but obviously isn't getting the deep sleep that he needs.  Complaining continuously throughout the day that he's tired.  We played "musical beds" most of last night with the two most restless (Nico and Belle) ending up with me in my bed.

Do you ever have one of those days when you wake up and you can just feel like it's going to be somewhat "off".  I tried not to dwell on that this morning at 5 a.m. with a two year old tossing and turning on my left and a baby, who finally passed out after being uncomfortable all night, on my right.  I would say that my queen size bed wasn't big enough to fit us and that's why I felt crowded, but I'm not so sure that's what it was.  These two little ones were snuggled up so close to me that I couldn't even move.  It's like I was wedged in between them.  I don't know if it would do any good, but I would suggest purchasing a king size bed to anyone who is on the lookout for bedroom furniture.  If I could do it all over again, I'd pay the difference in a heartbeat just in case there would be a chance of having more space.  Then maybe I could spread the babies out from me and not have to worry about them rolling off the bed. 

You know, I really feel for my poor kids today because Mamazilla reared her ugly head a good five times at least!  And I will tell you this, in all honesty, I'm only slightly ashamed.  Please just hear me out before you judge me on this.  No, I do not want my kids to ever have to see the mean, nasty side of me just because I'm tired and grouchy.  I don't want them to learn to be negative or to walk around in a foul mood all day.  But every now and then isn't going to hurt them.  Actually, I think that they will learn from it.  If they see that even Mama has bad days, then maybe they won't feel as bad when they have bad days.  Sometimes Max will have an "off" day as I call it, and I can tell that he feels bad for being grouchy, but at the same time he just doesn't feel like he can do anything about it.  I want him to realize that everyone deals with this kind of thing from time to time.  Besides, if he doesn't learn it at home, he'll learn it somewhere else and I don't want him to learn the hard way.  The important part is to not let it carry over into the next day and the next, and the next.  Get it out of your system, but it in the past, and leave it there.  Now, Mamazilla came complete with glowing red eyes, rotating head, and a deep monstrous voice.  Okay, maybe not really, but it might as well been like that.  I think my kids knew I meant business...No I'm not proud of it, but it's the truth.  I know I'm not the only one out there that this happens to so if any of you would like to fess up to me, not only might I feel a little better, but you might too! 

It might sound strange, but I'm actually REALLY REALLY proud of myself.  These Mamazilla days have gotten rarer and rarer.  It's a process and I'm working on the whole patience thing, but when a prolonged lack of sleep comes into play, it's just inevitable.  So I will say:  Sorry kids!  Sorry babe!  Sorry to the family we were supposed to meet up with for our play date, but arrived over an hour late and missed you guys!  Sorry GAC workers for letting my kids play on a wagon that wasn't actually a toy (I got tattled on).  Sorry neighbors who may have heard strange growling sounds coming from our home.  Sorry to anyone else I may have missed.  I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings, but I'm not necessarily sorry that it happened, because I had to get it out of my system so that it wouldn't just keep building. 

And now I'm going to touch on the blessings of the day so you can leave on a positive note, because I do believe there are blessings even in the most depressing of days. 

1.  Belle napped twice! It may have taken her a little while to get to sleep, but she did it! She so needed it.
2.  The boys actually played quietly after lunch and sat watching their "quiet time" movie without fighting long enough for me to switch out laundry and sew a little (another form of therapy for me).  This helped turn my day around a little and in turn also the boys' day.
3.  I didn't strangle anyone!!!!  And the boys were still talking to me at the end of the day.  Nico even wanted to sleep in my bed with me again tonight (as tempting as that may be...I don't think so.  Mama needs sleep!)
4.  I made it until Fer got home without completely losing my mind.  There were some points in the day when I seriously didn't think this was going to happen.
5.  I ended up focusing on my "To Do" list as a way of trying to redirect my frustrations and anxieties today and marked off just about the whole list!  Whoop whoop!!!
6. Although it may not seem like it, the boys and I had plenty of laughs and play today that did not involve the need for an exorcist.
7.  I have the most supportive husband in the world who only judged me slightly for my Oscar the Grouch demeanor. 

One of Max's favorite activities today.  Nico wouldn't put the basketball down.  He LOVES basketball!

Before my head could explode from hearing the boys fighting, I stopped them, handed them some bags and said, go look around the house for as many blue items as you can find.  On your mark, get set, GO!  They ran around for about 10 minutes giving me just a long enough break to breathe and calm down.  Ended up it was super fun for all of us to lay out all the items and talk about them.  They even decided to do more colors after that.  We just might have found a new fun game, and I came up with it in a matter of seconds.  Max even told me it was his favorite part of the day.  Maybe I am doing something right... 

They enjoyed the bounce house this morning.

I try to dress my kids in either matching or color coordinating clothes when we are out so that I'm clear on what color I need to look for as my kids run in all different directions.  Of course...I think today was green day because everyone seemed to be wearing it!

I know there are more blessings in this day, and I am aware of them.  However, I'm cutting it short tonight to finish cleaning up and to get to bed at a more decent hour.  I realize this blog post doesn't follow the same exact theme as posts of the past, but to make my blog an honest one about family life, I really needed to make this confession today.  And now I have an unbelievably huge weight off my shoulders and I think I can get some rest.  Thanks, friends for listening.  May tomorrow and every day be the best day ever...even one of "those" days....